This complex situation with the online guy has been going on for years. I still am contemplating whether or not I love the guy. If he is who he says he is, or if he is a complete player playing on my emotions.

He lays it on really thick telling me things like I am the only one who can make him happy even in all the craziness of his dad and his heart condition. Sometimes to me though the father being sick thing sounds like a very sound alibi for a reason not to talk to me, or other girls if he is in fact playing me.

It just seems every time he talks to me he sweet talks me into liking him all over again. I mean he makes me feel like the only person in the world. At least the only person in the world he wants to talk to or cares to talk to. The last time I talked to him was about. 4 or 5 days ago and he called me his wonder woman. He told me for sure he needs to meet me. He says he can't talk to me and have me make him feel that good and not meet this wonder woman who makes him feel this way. He says that I am everything he is looking for.

I can't help but think he is just a very good sweet talker. And knows how to manipulate a woman. I told him the only way he could meet me is he would have to come to the town I live in and meet my family. I told him my family has to approve. He seemed ok with it and agreed that is was reasonable.

That is usually my test to see if they are any good or just a creepy guy online trying to get what he wants. If he isn't a good guy he isn't willing to meet the family because there are witnesses and the added sense of people are watching his every move. So that is usually how I test it. When a guy like him seems so willing to do it makes me think he is who he says he is. It's not like I met the guy on an online site. I met him through a friend who met him in person.

I mean if the guy is willing to drive 4 hours to meet my family to prove that he isn't after one thing and one thing only, that he wants "the whole package deal" - His words. Then you figure he's gotta be worth giving it a try.

It just seems every time it get's close to the time where he is going to meet me that his dad gets sick again and he has to leave.


I don't know what to think.

~x-Cookie-x~

So, I met this guy on the internet over a year ago. The only reason I gave him the time of day is because I got his adress from a good friend. Now whenever I talk to a guy from the internet I am very cautious. This guy seemed to be perfect. Until my friend (who will remain unnamed) said he was saying the exact same things to her that he was saying to me. So naturally I got on his case and tore a strip off of him telling him if he was just playing me there was no point in talking to me ever again because I won't get played by some guy I never met in person.

As time went on though I began to like him and he told me he liked me more then he liked my friend. Eventually I figured out that after all this time of me telling him that I wasn't sure if he was telling the truth or not and he kept telling me that he was going to keep telling me until I believed him and the fact that he actually didn't stop until I said I believed him.

It didn't take long before he told me he loved me, and by this time I was so infatuated with this guy because he is so gorgeous that I thought I was in love with him too. We would talk about how much we just longed to lay in each others arms. Just to be there with him would be amazing. Then when we decided to arrange a time for him to come see me, in a town where he lived 4 hours away from, he never showed. I decided he was playing me and was a liar. And since he never came online so I could tell him how I felt so used, I sent him an e-mail telling him exactly that. Then he talked to me 2 months later explaining to me that he had to leave for 2 months to go somwhere else for a job. I thought it was too convienient. In the end I believed him again.

And now we talked about 2 weeks ago and he told me his reason. And he told me he couldn't talk to me because since we met online he has had a crappy computer that constantly signs him in and out. So he said he had no computer and that he had to move to Toronto because his dad had a heart attack. And me nowadays giving him the benefit of the doubt find myself believing that I am truly in love with him. Because even though we have only talked twice in 2 weeks he makes me feel like I am the only person that matters to him in the world. He told me that just talking to me makes him feel better about the whole thing going on with his dad. He makes me feel so good about myself and I find myself wishing with everything in me that I could just meet him in person and give him the biggest bear hug ever, while the whole time I have this voice in the back of my head telling me "Be careful, he could be no good"

Even with this voice in my head I find myself not listening to it because I feel I love this guy. I mean words cannot describe how I feel about him. It just feels like it would be so right for us to be together. And out of curiosity to figure out if it was love I was feeling I went online and took some quizzes, each and every one I took told me that I am in love. But I am still not sure.

The things he says to me just makes me melt, and anytime he signs in and I say hi to him, when he actually says hi back my heart skips a beat.

So is it love I feel that no matter how many times I feel like he is playing me I still end up believing him in the end because I love him? That I accept him even with all his flaws?

Yours Truly
~x-cookie-x~